If you’re a beginner golfer like me, chances are you spend more time coming up with explanations for your shots than actually improving them. And honestly? That’s okay.
We’re not on the PGA Tour. We’re on the “Please Just Let This Stay Inbounds” Tour. And on this tour, excuses are part of the game.
So in the spirit of honesty and survival, here’s my collection of daily golf excuses — one for every hole, and a few bonus ones for the range, the first tee, and those days when you just blade a wedge into the sun.
1. “Still warming up.”
You didn’t stretch. You didn’t swing. You just stepped up and prayed. Respect.
2. “Had to club down because of the wind.”
There is no wind. But it sounds smart, and you weren’t going to reach the green anyway.
3. “That tee box is not level.”
It’s flat. Everyone else is fine. But you caught the slope. Obviously.
4. “I was between clubs.”
You pulled the wrong one and panicked. But this makes you sound like a real golfer.
5. “These rental clubs are weird.”
They’re not rentals. But they might as well be. That 5-iron feels haunted.
6. “I wasn’t trying to go at the flag.”
You were laying up. From 142 yards. Classic.
7. “Ball must’ve been sitting down.”
It was in the fairway. But from where you were standing, it looked off.
8. “Thought it was a par 5.”
You played it like a par 7. Understandable mistake.
9. “I was focused on tempo.”
You were thinking about lunch. But tempo is a safe fallback.
10. “Didn’t want to be long.”
Never mind that you left it 20 yards short — fear-based planning is valid.
11. “The greens are slow today.”
Or maybe you just didn’t hit it. Either way, it’s the greens’ fault now.
12. “Caught it a little thin.”
Said while watching your ball laser-beam across the green into a parking lot.
13. “I never hit it that far with this club.”
You finally flushed one and weren’t ready for the success.
14. “It bounced weird.”
On grass? Yeah, grass is tricky like that.
15. “That’s my miss.”
Own it like a true amateur who read one golf forum post in 2019.
16. “The sun was in my eyes.”
Night round? Doesn’t matter. The sun is always a suspect.
17. “Hit a tree I didn’t see.”
Nature is sneaky. That branch was invisible a second ago.
18. “I was just out here to have fun anyway.”
And you know what? You did. That triple bogey finish won’t stop you.
Bonus Excuses (for off-course use)
- Driving Range: “These mats are too firm.” “I don’t swing the same on the range.”
- First Tee: “Haven’t played in a while.” “Just getting loose.”
- Post-Round Recap: “I was figuring things out.” “If I could’ve made a few putts…”
Final Thought: If You Can’t Play Good, At Least Be Funny
Golf is hard. Excuses are free. And as long as you’re not blaming your playing partners or yelling at squirrels, you’re doing fine.
Next time you top one into a bush, just say “I’m working on a low shot shape” and walk away like you meant it. That’s golf, baby.
